Oh, where do I even begin? Let me start by stating this little fact. I am not a fake person. Never have been, never will be. I see fake people as those who pretend to be something they are not to make themselves feel better. They also go by "ass kisser" and "wanna be". There has to be something that was missing in their lives as children to have the need to constantly be the center of attention and to crave the approval of others. That is the approval of others who if they were not fake ass kissers would never know they existed. I do not kiss ass. I have made it a point in my life to be nice to people and always try to follow the Golden Rule (key word being TRIED). However, I will not cover my nose in your brown waste just to have you acknowledge me as a human being. If you do not like me or if you think that you are better than I am, then so be it. I will not lose sleep over it nor will I put forth any effort or energy to change your mind. You just aren't worth it! Some people though, have taken a different path. These people are the thorns in my ass. I can not stand a fake person. That is the worst characteristic that you can possess (besides being a child abuser, rapist, and/or murderer). The fake smiles and the award winning - Oscar Nomination acts of pretending like they truly care. It burns my eyes and ears like pure acid. These are also the people who think that everyone around them cares about trivial shit in their every day life. For the love of chocolate cake - - - Get a Life, Buy a Clue, Adopt some Confidence and take out a loan on some Reality. You are going to need it! Whenever I am put in a situation where I absolutely have to be within a 50 yard radius of these people I feel a mixture of emotions. One of those being sympathy. Sympathy not for the actual ass kisser/fake/wanna be, but for the young impressionable children in their lives who are like sponges and who are soaking in every ounce of the fakeness that is running out of your pores like hot lava. I also feel embarrassment for this person who thinks that every one around them is not secretly talking about them behind their backs and snickering at that Stepford Wife persona. I also feel like laughing...which to put it simply is exactly what we all do when you walk away!
Now, one more characteristic of a "faker" is lying. Heaven help me if I have to hear one more crazy, made up, pulled out of your ass story about how your car wouldn't crank when you went to Wal-Mart and all of a sudden McGyver popped out of no where and rebuilt your engine with a tampon and a rubber band! No ONE...let me repeat...NO ONE believes your outrageous lies. Oh and the McGyver lie was just an example...don't even think about using it because even though we all know you are full of the shit that you have on your nose, that one is MINE! I mean come on Faker...do you really think any of us believe a word that comes out of your mouth??? If you aren't sure, let me make it real clear...NO, we don't! If you can't tell the truth, or are just too ashamed of how actually boring your life is, then just keep your mouth shut. We would all have a lot more respect for you!
So, to all the Fakers out there, and one in particular, we know your game and we just want to say...Clean Your Nose and Get Some Help! There has to be a 12 step program for you somewhere out there! If not, then I know there is gum!