It Sounded Like a Freight Train...

Do I have curlers in my hair today? Did I move into a mobile home park? Do I have on my hat that says "Who Farted?"??? The answer is No to all of the above, but why does my office look like the aftermath of a furious tornado???? We have added so many new things in the office in the past few weeks and I am struggling to learn all of this new technology. I was fine with walking to the fax machine, filing my own documents, and scratching my own hiney. But, my boss went all 21st century on us this month and now we never have to leave our desk. Which is nice, but some days walking back and forth to the copier and fax was my only physical activity. Unless you count the workout that my middle finger gets on occasion! :) So, now I am stressing out over what goes where, how does that get there, and who put that in what. Needless to say I am deeply regretting ever making fun of my elders when they couldnt figure out how to work a cell phone, video camera, or DVD player. Sorry!
So for the next few weeks I am going to be pulling my hair out and screaming profanity (on the inside). I just hope I get all of it together and figure everything out before PMS hits this month. If not, then my boss will have wished he had invested the money he spent on all of this new technology on a bomb shelter!

BEACH BOUND...

I have never been one to wish my life away. But you dont know how bad we need a vacation! All of us! So, right now I am wishing that it were July! We made reservations today to go to Panama City Beach for a week. We always go to PC b/c the kids love it. The beaches are great and there are a LOT of activities for the kids. Put Put, Go Karts, Arcades, Water Parks, etc. All around it is always a blast. I am so excited. I had been racking my brain for about 2 weeks as far as when and where. And I found it. The condo of all condos. At least, I think so. I showed the kids the website and they were in love! It is Shores of Panama. It is a brand new high rise condo on the corner of Thomas Drive and Front Beach Road. So, needless to say, we will probably never even have to drive anywhere once we get there. Everything is within walking distance. Including our Favorite restaurant...Pineapple Willy's!! So nice!!! Here are a few pictures of the condo we are staying at...

They have a lot of activities for the kids as well. Including nightly movies on a big screen floating in the pool, kids karaoke at the pool, bands playing by the pool nightly, belly dancing at the pool, etc. Michael, the kids, and I are all so ready to be there! I can feel the sand in my crack right now!!!

Crazy Soccer Mom

Dear Crazy Soccer Mom,

Let me start by saying that I get just as excited at my son's soccer games as I know you do as well. However, I would NEVER, EVER make derogatory comments towards the other team. Especially if I was at their house and sitting VERY close to a MOTHER of the other team. Not a good idea CSM. I am not a confrontational person, but the claws will come out when you continue to down grade my son and his team, Over & Over & Over. There is only so much I can handle. Yes, your son's team played very well. And yes, we were getting stomped. But how old are you? Don't laugh at our attempts and if you cant control the immaturity from spilling out of your plastic lips, at least try to control the volume to which it spills and for the love of soccer....SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE! You are crazy. You need help. I can only assume that you were never a part of a team when you were younger, or you would have learned the value of sportsmanship. Maybe your son can teach you something! I am sure he was just as embarrassed as we all were for you!

***This comes from one of Jake's soccer games a few weeks ago. We were getting stomped and the Mom sitting next to me from the other team could not seem to contain herself or her nasty comments. When we FINALLY scored ONE goal, her comment was "Well, at least they know how to score at least ONE goal". Which was then followed by laughter. Needless to say, I couldn't let it slide. I thought we were going to make a scene. And at that point I did not care. I made sure she knew how rude and immature her comments were. I haven't been that mad in a while. They are EIGHT YEARS OLD and it's a GAME!

First Camping Trip

Our first camping trip was this past week. Jake was out for his Spring Break, so Michael and I took off a few days and went with my parents Monday & Tuesday for our first camping trip in the new camper. We had so much fun!!! Jake brought his electric scooter and his bike and my parents brought two of their bikes. We roasted marshmallows, rode bikes, went for walks and explored the park. Jake had so much fun and we are all anxiously awaiting our next trip!!!

Weekend Review

Whew! This weekend was a non stop good time.

Saturday we went to Jake's soccer game. And we lost. This one wasn't even close. It was O.K. though. The rest of the day made up for it. We went to Nana's and had an Easter egg hunt. We then had an egg race (put an egg on a spoon and see who makes it through the finish line with the egg).

Then it was off to another egg hunt. I have never seen so many kids stampeding at one time. To see what I am talking about...just check out the pictures of this HUGE egg hunt!

Sunday was a Great Day! We got up and the kids got to see what the Easter Bunny left for them!

After the kids enjoyed their Easter baskets and gifts at home, we went to Nana's and did it all over again!

After that we all got dressed and went to Church. Then we went to my Granddads house and ate....and ate....and ate....

Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny, Hop, Hop, Hop...

Can I just say that my kids are more than excited about the fun to be had this weekend! It is such a busy one too!
Tonight we start off with dinner at my Mom & Dad's house. Then we are off to finish Season 3 of Prison Break. I know it sounds crazy, but Michael, the kids, and myself are somewhat obsessed with this show. We started watching it at season 4, so we had to buy 1,2,and 3 to see what happened prior. Season 5 comes on in a week, so we want to finish up before the final 5 episodes air. Between Prison Break, Survivor, The Biggest Loser, and American Idol, our kids should know how to escape from the confines of summer camp, disguise themselves by losing all of there baby fat in just weeks with Bob & Jillian, survive on a desert island with a stick, a pot, and a hidden immunity idol....American Idol that is! :-)
Saturday is a very busy day. We start off with another soccer game mid-morning. I am praying that Jake's little team pulls out a victory this time. We were soooo close at the last game. Then again, if we had a coach that actually cared we might do a little bit better. But, that is a whole other post! After the slaughter...I mean game, we are going to Nana's (my Mom) to have an Easter Egg hunt and play some other games with uncooked eggs. Yes, I said uncooked. Because what is the fun of trying to carry a egg on a spoon across a obstacle course only to have it fall and...well, just fall! Then after we go home and scrape egg yolk off of both of my scrambled little eggs, we are off to another egg hunt. This is a fairly big egg hunt. And I am sure the kids will have a blast. But, what is the age limit for helping your child find the eggs? Should that stop at like 3...maybe 4? Does hot/cold count as helping?
And of course Sunday! The kids will get up after Michael and I, I mean the Easter Bunny and her trusty side kick...uhmmm...we can just call him Egg Head (hehehe...sorry honey!), get up and set up the baskets. They will begin to stuff themselves with as much chocolate as humanly possible and then I am expected to dress them (while they are spinning on the ceiling fan...a task only the Easter Bunny can prepare for) and take them to Church where they are expected to sit quietly and not fidget while 250 grams of sugar course through their veins! Piece of cake! Then we are off to my Granddad's house to have Easter lunch. I am SOOOO looking forward to this!!! This is ALWAYS, hands down the best meal!!! Turkey, Dressing, Ham, EVERY vegetable imaginable and then of course the desert table!!! We eat so much at lunch that we don't eat again till the next day! And after every one has stuffed themselves to the rim, the adults go and hide Easter eggs for the kids. I remember doing this Easter egg hunt when I was little, and it was always a blast. However, being the exaggerated worrier that I was when I was smaller, I believe I had tiny anxiety attacks prior to take off! Still fun though!
Needless to say, this should be a over the top amazing weekend! The kids are going to have a blast, I will probably run out of my Valium (I kid, I kid) and the Easter Bunny will go down as a great guy that gives awesome gifts with no thanks pointed in Michael and I's direction! Let the fun begin!!!!!

Hump Day Humor

This is a recent posting on Craig’s list Portland, OR

"To the woman that crapped in my car (NE Portland). We met on Craigs List
so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could possibly be
the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am
willing to look past that. I thought we had a chemistry sitting at
McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots and drinking Terminator Stout.
I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be
intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just
happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please
don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto-Bismol the next day
and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was
meant to be funny, not offensive. I have gambled on a fart and lost on
multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. it
happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I probably win
95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100%. That's why they call
it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants.
In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand
could have been a tad better--like when you're not sitting on a heated
leather seat. What I am trying to say is that, if you want to try to go
out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can
get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract. I
await your call.

P.S. If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early, touche.

Weekend Review

What a great weekend!!!

Friday night we had Jake's first soccer game of the season. It did not really turn out the way that we all had hoped. We got beat....stomped if you may! I quit keeping score after the other team had already gotten 4-5 goals the first quarter. It was NOT pretty. But, Jake seemed to have fun and the loss didn't seem to bother him like I thought it would. After that Jake went to his Daddy's house and Michael and I went home and caught up on some DVR stuff.

Saturday was gorgeous!!! A nice change from what we have had the past week. Michael got Mary Katherine for a few hours on Saturday for his Birthday. So, unfortunately he wasn't able to go to the soccer game, but I think he and Mary had a blast playing put-put, going to the park and riding go-karts. My Mom and I went to the game and it was MUCH better than the night before. Yes, we lost...but it was a lot closer than the previous game. It was only 5-4, so not quite so bad. Jake had a great time and he played SO good!!! Here are some of the pictures from his game Saturday (I didn't realize it at the time, but I ended up taking 115 pictures of his game....WOW)!

Saturday night Michael and I had a date. We went to dinner and a movie. We wanted to see Last House on the Left, but they had taken it off b/c apparently they had so many people wanting to see Fast & Furious, they had to put it in TWO theaters! Really?!?!?! Fast & Furious?!?!?! I had no idea people still watched those movies. Anyways, we ended up going to see The Haunting in Connecticut. It was pretty good. It definitely had a few of those "clinch your husbands hand so hard HE screams like a little girl" moments. It was a very nice night.

Sunday we finally went and got us a grill. We had not gotten one since we moved in and we really wanted to be able to grill out this summer. So, we headed to Lowes. Got the grill and Michael made some of the best grilled Chicken last night. We are going to be using it A LOT!

That was about it for the weekend. Now it is Monday, I am procrastinating and it is COLD outside! Now begins the countdown for the next weekend! :)

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

I know I have been M.I.A. for the past week. It has been a little hectic. Not to mention that this rainy, yucky weather has made me feel like a slug. No motivation. Here is a quick review of what we have been up to:

Friday Michael went to play poker with his buddies and the kids and I went to the movies to see Monsters vs. Aliens with Nana. Very cute movie. The 3-D effects were really great on this one. Saturday we went to Froggy's (of course) and then Michael had his Birthday dinner from my parents at their house. My Mom cooked his favorite....Country Fried Steak, Fried Okra, Mashed Potatoes, etc. I gained about 2 pounds at one sitting....Happy Birthday, Michael! Sunday we didn't do one thing. The kids played outside on the go-kart with Michael for a bit and then we dyed Easter eggs and made a birds nest for the eggs out of modeling clay and twigs from the yard. It all turned out very cute. However, my camera was at my office. I had downloaded pictures Thursday of last week and left it there. So, unfortunately I have no pictures of the Birthday Boy, his cake or his gifts. :(

Jake has his first soccer game this Friday night. He also has one Saturday as well...and it is about an hour drive from our house. If not longer. I am leaving all of that up to the GPS. We have not had practice this whole week due to the horrible weather. I hope they play well tomorrow night. He has a pretty good little team, they have just not had much time to practice together. Keep your fingers crossed.

And today is Michael's Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Michael!!! I hope you have a great Birthday!!! You are a wonderful Father, an amazing Husband and my Best Friend. I can't wait for us to spend many more years together!

Oh - and I forgot about my Hump Day Humor Post so here ya go....

Study Regarding Women's Asses

Association studied women and how they feel about their asses.

The results are pretty shocking:

1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.

2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.

3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.

And because I was away for so long...here is a Bonus:

Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!